She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize