The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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