how can u be prego again
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
