Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
