NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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