Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Randomize
