why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
