they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Randomize
