Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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