are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
