Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
