I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
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And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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