when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
