I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
