Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
