She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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