'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
tell me about the eggs
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
