what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
