Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
