we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
