She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
