Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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