just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Congratulations! We have a period
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