the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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