god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize