Where is the hickey?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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