i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
