using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
