lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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