so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
