His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
