if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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