i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
