How'd it feel making her break her religion?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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