I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
