Texts From Last Night

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  (309): View more from Illinois

  She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.

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  (309): She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack. http://tfl.nu/09jw
  Replies (17) Good night (3110) Bad night (1089)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.

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  (203): My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn. http://tfl.nu/0pkd
  Replies (12) Good night (849) Bad night (3745)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.

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  (401): You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions. http://tfl.nu/pgpr
  Replies (16) Good night (5891) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work

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  (862): just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work http://tfl.nu/zbvu
  Replies (3) Good night (2399) Bad night (1003)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.

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  (513): Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team. http://tfl.nu/vssn
  Replies (7) Good night (3231) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men

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  (404): it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men http://tfl.nu/z2fi
  Replies (20) Good night (1405) Bad night (3269)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either

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  (281): Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either http://tfl.nu/fgrs
  Replies (6) Good night (1518) Bad night (740)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.

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  (337): Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell? (913): I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space. http://tfl.nu/aqjc
  Replies (17) Good night (2363) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.

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  (407): I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs. http://tfl.nu/utt1
  Replies (9) Good night (2285) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog

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  (775): I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog http://tfl.nu/px0v
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.

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  (740): We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well. http://tfl.nu/ojjo
  Replies (5) Good night (1256) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.

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  (309): I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game. http://tfl.nu/d55q
  Replies (7) Good night (1007) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?

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  (706): Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/bcib
  Replies (2) Good night (267) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...

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  (805): All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend... http://tfl.nu/o1px
  Replies (4) Good night (314) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.

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  (713): Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar. http://tfl.nu/aeu2
  Replies (6) Good night (489) Bad night (296)

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