that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
