K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???