So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
