Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?

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  (503): How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record? http://tfl.nu/dn2a
  Replies (37) Good night (991) Bad night (4398)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway

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  (432): To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway http://tfl.nu/h9fr
  Replies (8) Good night (3282) Bad night (1148)
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  (555): View more from

  She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.

  (555): View more from

  Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.

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  (555): She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome. (555): Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there. http://tfl.nu/h5mq
  Replies (13) Good night (3464) Bad night (960)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.

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  (440): my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement. http://tfl.nu/zd8a
  Replies (16) Good night (5766) Bad night (1601)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!

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  (617): Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood! http://tfl.nu/rv6i
  Replies (3) Good night (2063) Bad night (904)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.

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  (+44): Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect. http://tfl.nu/gla7
  Replies (3) Good night (759) Bad night (1871)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.

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  (314): I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio. http://tfl.nu/grri
  Replies (9) Good night (2027) Bad night (734)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.

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  (306): We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit. http://tfl.nu/ure1
  Replies (1) Good night (655) Bad night (1009)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat

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  (214): Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat http://tfl.nu/vn00
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (415)
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  (925): View more from California

  I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...

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  (925): I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year... http://tfl.nu/2wth
  Replies (2) Good night (953) Bad night (432)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.

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  (713): He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us. http://tfl.nu/qccw
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (273)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples

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  (414): Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples http://tfl.nu/ypsl
  Replies (3) Good night (308) Bad night (585)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.

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  (515): We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it. http://tfl.nu/ayy3
  Replies (6) Good night (592) Bad night (292)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.

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  (404): I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start. http://tfl.nu/1iy9
  Replies (3) Good night (367) Bad night (556)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!

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  (585): Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?! http://tfl.nu/3ugm
  Replies (3) Good night (471) Bad night (209)

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