i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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