Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up. http://tfl.nu/qfvl
  Replies (16) Good night (955) Bad night (1800)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (519): I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat. http://tfl.nu/eo6a
  Replies (28) Good night (8060) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like. http://tfl.nu/tgx7
  Replies (33) Good night (1300) Bad night (2835)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury.. http://tfl.nu/rawt
  Replies (39) Good night (8200) Bad night (1282)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl http://tfl.nu/7i4h
  Replies (12) Good night (775) Bad night (3267)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks? http://tfl.nu/26q7
  Replies (55) Good night (2283) Bad night (6779)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack. http://tfl.nu/jtst
  Replies (3) Good night (1186) Bad night (4380)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window http://tfl.nu/tz9a
  Replies (2) Good night (2501) Bad night (1661)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning. http://tfl.nu/cs20
  Replies (2) Good night (1295) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away http://tfl.nu/uyq2
  Replies (6) Good night (1043) Bad night (540)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like. http://tfl.nu/0urz
  Replies (1) Good night (629) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning. http://tfl.nu/diz8
  Replies (2) Good night (726) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace." http://tfl.nu/re9p
  Replies (1) Good night (850) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS" http://tfl.nu/4lbd
  Replies (2) Good night (738) Bad night (189)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on http://tfl.nu/p80k
  Replies (0) Good night (270) Bad night (106)

Randomize