Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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