guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
