it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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