Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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