so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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