It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize