So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
