Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
