I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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