I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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