Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
