Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
