It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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