Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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