all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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