everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
