No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops