Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.