Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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