party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
