I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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