Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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