Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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