True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
