Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
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