To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
