the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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